GETTING FIERY & FURIOUS BY INFLAMMATORY DIET NONSENSE

SHORT VERSION: Don’t read article at bottom as it is flowery bollocks. Read this instead for a more reality-based account or just go and eat a doughnut: http://www.quickanddirtytips.com/…/foods-that-fight-inflamm…

DEEP APOLOGIES FOR THE FOLLOWING INCOHERENT, MEAN-SPIRITED, POORLY-EDITED RANTING VERSION: There is some science to the idea of inflammatory foods (see link above) but frig all in the article linked below! I know I can’t expect everyone to get a biochemistry degree or similar, but how about this? Don’t contradict yourself in your own article!!! (I’m making assumptions about your grandma, sorry Alice Nicholls, Certified Holistic Health Coach)
Alice Nicholls (according to Google Image Search)
I could ask why your article contains no references, but I’m guessing that you found this stuff out by telepathically communicating with your palm-reader astrologist clairvoyant naturopath who eats nothing but fructose-free fruit. I do realise that I have no references in my rant either, but you’re the one making the extraordinary claims, so they need to be backed up by extraordinary evidence before we can even start a discussion based on reality and the laws of the universe. Sorry, but other than for entertainment, I can’t have meaningful interactions using the Glong language spoken in the upside-down universe where science is worthless and vague is awesome and 7-legged unicorns are the rulers of planet WooWoo and food actually kills us and light bulbs suck darkness and …
one more leg and she would rule us all
“A general rule to live by is less processed, less packaged and more the types of foods your Grandma would have recognised and eaten.” the author states which is fair enough I guess in a vague-as-shyte sort of way. Now let’s go through her 6 foods to see how the Grandma assertion holds up:

1: Gluten: well I don’t know about your Grandma but both of mine chugged down way more gluten than any other sticky substance. Show me some real science that supports the health benefits of cutting out gluten for the over-privileged scientific-illiterate worried-well. If you’re truly intolerant (not a self-diagnosed worry-wart) then of course eliminate gluten. But don’t make the leap that just because some people genuinely can’t eat gluten, then all people shouldn’t eat gluten. That’s like saying that because some people are turned on only by BBW GGILFs, all people should also try getting into that specific peccadillo.

2: Processed sugars: One of my Grandmothers was, according to me at least, the best baker in the world and funnily enough used a crap load of sugar! Did your Grandma really bake only with maple syrup and molasses? What’s so special about maple syrup and molasses anyway? Just because maple syrup was processed in a tree then boiled down, it’s somehow more healthy? Seriously?

3: Oils including margarine: Again, once margarine came out people loved it as it spread easily on bread (containing gluten). Both my grandmothers heavily used margarine and I’d guess yours did too. There is some science on the evils of partially hydrogenated oils or trans fats, but if they’re killing us, they’re doing it darn slowly! The privileged populations of the world have never lived longer! In any case, my understanding is that it’s pretty easy to eliminate these from your diet and they’re starting to be phased out anyway, so don’t worry about it.
4: Dairy products: Whaaa? Of course some people are lactose intolerant but I’m definitely not and neither were my grandmothers! Same illogical leap as with gluten? So that’s like saying that because some people writing rants on Facebook are wasting their lives, all people are…
udderly ridiculous
5: Alcohol: I think you’re just trying to say: “Drink alco-pops in moderation, kids!”. You mention your liver working overtime to process alcohol. What exactly is the shift pattern of your liver? Does it get double-time-and-a-half?
6: Chemicals: I love chemicals and so did both my grandmothers. You could almost say that we are all made of chemicals… Please do not blanket demonise ingredients with long names and numbers due to your scientific ignorance! Kindly tell me the specific chemicals that are the problem and cite the peer-reviewed actual science articles, then we can start talking.
(Not really a) Conclusion: Most people are mostly wrong most of the time, but there is this incredibly useful thing called science that helps to separate reality from inflamed brain farts.
There is great information out there and you can easily find it if you learn to smell out and ignore the BS. 
One final time: Sorry Alice Nicholls. I’m so mean and I’m sure you’re a lovely person. 🙂 

Troll me under a bridge, you sexy oaf.

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