for arbitrary and infuriating 140 character non-coherence such as: “Gouda is the enemy of cheese grater”
– Dumb memes posted on Tumblr
; some are ours
– Books if we can ever concentrate on a single topic long enough. We’ve started something with an incredibly angry and sweary tone to be published in 2022
– Holy text decreed to us by the archangel Gabi Grecko
for our new global religion that all will follow or face the consequences
|Our holy mother Gabi showing off her Emergence commitment ring
Other ways we’re taking it all over one snore-cast at a time:
for our depression casts and abuse casts to enjoy my cheery disposition
for our Brooding Batman Lego creations and feet
profile to give the illusion that we are professional
for some of the most annoying and offensive 6 second videos about The Emergence being a scourge to humanity
+ to spread the word to Google employees that aren’t permitted to use Facebook.
– Live appearances: We are all the face of The Emergence. The Dave Chaffey Hippie Unit
is The Founder. He doesn’t want to be a sociopathic sex-crazed charismatic leader. He will perform live occasionally on request, but any who agree in general with our manifesto guidelines can spread the word loudly in public and drop love bombs on Donald Trump’s 17th wife bot and hair fluffer.
– Peaceful demonstrations: Small groups like the Oscar Pistorius supporters
. Quiet, unassuming with silly costumes and placards. This may not make headlines but also won’t incite violence. Followers are encouraged to protest anything that doesn’t follow basic harm minimisation principles, like BDSM dominatrix’s and personal trainers with names like The Commando and The Misogynist Minute-Man
– Support group Periscope
live streams on request for crazy geniuses currently having trouble being productive members of society. Productive could mean just doing a little volunteer work rather than spending all their days fighting the semantic anti-Semitic Great War
with their keyboards. The debate will rage about the role of shock trolling in bringing about World Peace.
– Radio broadcast stunts to raise money for charity: We’ll do anything you ask of us as long as it won’t harm us and won’t take much effort. Kudos to the little fella on the Unicycle
with the gorgeous voice, but no frucking way we’re squashing our balls for 6 months. Our first stunt could be doing a homage to the ending of Fight Club.
– Annual anti-social inner beauty omphaloskepsis pageant. Post your belly button shots and short bios on our Facebook page
– ‘Hug an Extremist’ charity drive on Vine. Post 6 second videos of you hugging an extremist and then donating money to the opposite cause. For example, hug radio schlock jock Alan Jones, then donate to MENSA.
– Love bombing of mainstream media by our followers to try and steer them away from the actual problems in the World like Mel Gibson and Big Fairy. We’ll donate to an approved charity for every time one of our followers yells THE EMERGENCE STARTS NOW to an audience of over 100,000. Post your videos on Youtube.
– Skeptic Master online lecture series coming soon to prepare for the coming final epic battle with the Reiki Masters
– Merchandising upon request – all profits to charity – T shirt with the slogan: “Having a bad day? If you are still alive tomorrow, how about thinking about the 21,000 who starved to death, you arrogant selfish pompous ass!”
How else would you like us to serve you? We’ll do anything that we agree to do!
Lastly, our followers will keep an eye on anything else useful like BlackPlanet, Cross.tv, Ravelry or The Reclaim Australia Circus Clowns? There are many poor souls stuck in these insular networks and benevolent infiltration by us would be enlightening if nothing else.
|Reclaim Australia Leader and First Australian hater Shermon ‘the tank’ Burgess
Contact us on your Almon Brown Strowger rotary phone by yelling The Emergence Starts Now at the operator.
World Peace, Inner Harmony & Mark Harmon
|The dreamy face of Inner Harmony