Why did Hillary Clinton lose?

“Hahahahaha. This was our plan all along. Donald and I came to an agreement to prevent massive civil unrest. He gave me an offer I couldn’t refuse. Stop crying, deplorable leftie righteous suckers! Now get right back to working for us.”

Blame it on the rain, then on lip-syncing, then on Carlos Danger‘s doodle, then on the FBI, then on God for taking a sweet angel too soon…

Here’s a typical comment on a blog from a most definitely non-deplorable individual trying to come to grips with the Trump-ocalypse and impending destruction of the whole Universe, by a super-villain whose only motivation is bringing about the final days, when only the truly powerful non-losers will ascend the Trump Tower to immortality.

We’re living in a cartoon and I’m Smurfette about to be gang-banged…

Blog Comment from Doug Quixote:

(Name used with permission. There is more agreement in worldviews than this comment might indicate, but this was only ascertained by further discussion. Many people do not do this, especially online, and this surely is detrimental to social cohesion.)

Unbiased, Uncynical, Unreal?

“I overestimated the intelligence of the American voters.

PT Barnum had it right 150 years ago, and they aren’t any brighter now.

But I disagree about the deplorables speech – it was a fine outbreak of honesty and truth. It breached the “don’t frighten the horses” nostrum.

But if you want a real point of damage: in an election where you need to get the voters to turn up, get the FBI to breathe life back into the dead horse of the emails. If undecided voters ever needed a reason not to bother voting . . .”

Perhaps this is why Hillary Clinton lost. Plenty of other opinions are available; until the Left fall in-step under their Communist mind control and settle on a single officially-sanctioned narrative. Propaganda’s great at controlling the Truth even to those who truly believe they aren’t being controlled. But of course the actual reasons that Hillary lost are multi-factorial, non-independent, chaotic, and completely beyond the abilities of our brains to determine; beyond grossly simplistic and distorted fantastical narratives. It could have been the weather triggered by a tiny queef, or Donald Trump’s cartoonish appearance & our fond memories of Willy Wonker’s chocolate workers, or a bizarre synchronization of social justice warrior menstrual cycles…

People with shattered glass brains shouldn’t throw trolls?

I’ll troll myself because, let’s face it, I’m (almost) as deplorable as everyone else and I have been trolling the crap out of my own tribe of Lefties as they continue to fall apart. I’m a little closer to the centre so I wasn’t going to launch into tirades of hissy-fit rants no matter who won. Maybe this was the wrong strategy and I’m evil; more than happy to let the world burn for my own entertainment? It is the greatest time for comedy and if I can convince more people how hilarious I am, especially my Man Brain podcast (www.manbrainpodcast.com),  I’ll be thanking the Donald for trolling the world.

Americans are dumb, right?

“I overestimated the intelligence of the American voters.”

Self-Trolling Point 1:

Were Americans stupid when they voted in Obama or does their dumbness go up and down correlating with whether they agree with me or not? When ‘they’ do something that doesn’t fit in with my worldview, like worshipping Kanye West, I tend to throw my toys out of the cot and cry foul, as do most of us. Then I remember that I’m somewhere on the stupid spectrum too. Believe it or not, but I’m easily one of the top 1000 free thinkers of all time, yet still completely unable to grasp the fundamental code of the Universe, so any conclusions I come to are merely placeholders awaiting a future generation to stand on my shoulders, see much further, then laugh at how stupid I was.

Self-Trolling Point 2:

Remember that most people are mostly wrong most of the time. But that doesn’t stop me from grossly over-estimating my own rightness. In fact, it’s key to healthy irrationality: deluding myself into believing that I need to do something and couldn’t possibly do nothing or the world would fall apart or Adele would cause James Bond’s manhood to Skyfall or something really, really bad would happen for sure. I make this point, crudely, in my Man Brain podcast ep2 (see Soundcloud embed above) by adding a laughter track and Benny Hill music to a particularly righteous social justice warrior, called Laci Green. Cheap humour, sure, and I don’t disagree with all her points at all. I know full well that this is what I sound like too when I go off on a righteous rant, but it doesn’t stop me.


Americans are really, really, really dumb, right?

PT Barnum had it right 150 years ago, and they aren’t any brighter now.”

Self-Trolling Point 3:

We’re all manipulated all the time by genetic and cultural programming. That appears to be on a spectrum too, and maybe I’m slightly less manipulated than a One Nation voter; I certainly like to think so, but that doesn’t make it definitely true. I would bet my house on it. However, I’d also bet my house on one day being recognised as the last prophet for humanity bringing forth the evolution of humanity into an emergent networked consciousness, so why would anyone listen to me?


Hillary Clinton is an amazing visionary, right?

“But I disagree about the deplorables speech – it was a fine outbreak of honesty and truth. It breached the “don’t frighten the horses” nostrum.”

Self-Trolling Point 4:

I replaced ‘deplorables’ with ‘r*tards’ in my brain. That’s how damaging I thought the Hillary speech was. This appears to be my own brain distortion because I too have been labelled very negatively by some of my own family members. It’s of course a cheap extremist tactic to label people as ‘us’ and ‘them’ in the hope of binding the ‘us’ together by believing that the ‘them’ are subhuman illiterate depraved monsters who do not deserve equal rights and most definitely not equal voting rights. But they’re really, really stupid, right? They watch Kardashian-derivative reality TV instead of listening to Philip Glass and reciting Percy Shelly poetry, ffs, the uncultured swine.

I know it; you know it, ‘those’ people are a complete waste of oxygen and are destroying everything that is good about ‘us’. I might be making a superiority claim that cannot be shown to be helping with World Peace in the slightest. And the fewer in number the ‘us’ becomes; my problem is much more likely genetically programmed tribalism: my ape brain falsely believing in some existential threat for my ‘clearly’ superior tribe, who, when it comes down to ‘kill or be killed’ war, we should definitely be the ones to survive, because just look at ‘them’, those people who only bring ruin to the few remaining good people left: the deplorables, the barbarians, the dumb, the sheep, the puppets, the Jews, the witches, the Blacks, the gays, the Fred Savages, the Justin Beliebers, the dole-bludgers, the Muslims, the obese, the Nazis. Pick a label for ‘them’. I believe that ‘them people’ should die before me if the sh*t really hits the fan and the war of the words somehow devolves into the war of the world: part 3: This time we really got to clean this sh*t up and ensure that these evil f*ckers are never allowed to congregate and breed ever again.

The FBI horseman of the Trumpocalypse

Evil forces took Hillary down, right?

“But if you want a real point of damage: in an election where you need to get the voters to turn up, get the FBI to breathe life back into the dead horse of the emails. If undecided voters ever needed a reason not to bother voting . . .”

Self-Trolling Point 5:

It’s a bit weird that I don’t blame Hillary’s loss on the FBI, even though it could be the case. It just sounds too much like the kind of thinking I accuse the other side of engaging in all the time. Blaming others instead of re-assessing my own ideologies and failings and sprinkling in some conspiratorial thinking for good measure just doesn’t feel right to me when I’ve berated so many others for doing this.

Self-Trolling Point 6:

Ultimately, when the end of days begins, my survival strategy may prove to be a poor one. Sh*tting on my own tribe instead of backing them up 100%, will get we banished and face certain annihilation, but I just canna do it Captain. I can’t take my side pulling the same BS and I will point it out and others should point out my BS too. That’s how we continually improve, rather than just stick with our antiquated ideologies that aren’t coping with all the changes to society their creators could never have envisioned.

But stick to your plan if you want. It might very well be your best coping strategy. In any case, I’m still standing yeah, yeah, yeah, and so are you, so let’s pick this up in ten years assuming the internet is still a thing, and we can have a blast with the ‘I told you so’ game. I’ll bet my children that I’m proven right. Not my favourite child, of course, just the other ones. They make the deplorables look like Donald Trump Jr. If you think none of this article makes sense, then you haven’t quite come to terms with the fact that Donald Trump is very soon to be the leader of the free world!



All can benefit from listening to the Man Brain Podcast to be reminded how cruel it is to domesticate wild animals. www.manbrainpodcast.com  To go deeper towards the raw code of reality, follow The Founder of The Emergence Starts Now and the philosophy of Creative Immortality through Motivational Realism, Dave Chaffey Hippie, on Twitter, FacebookTumblrPinterest, & Instagram. Or just remain a programmed robot; it’s probably a better survival strategy.


Troll me under a bridge, you sexy oaf.

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